Don't you worry child

Have you heard that song yet?
It's from Swedish House Mafia, they're pretty awesome.
I'm currently obsessed.
Check em out here

My boss is still out on a family medical leave, so I am still running the department.
It was told to the rest of the store that I have stepped in, so people were talking to me about it all day.
I didn't know that they were mentioning anything, so it really took me by surprise.
And it kind of made me uneasy.
I don't like attention being drawn to me, especially in situations like this.
I would have rather they not said anything, but too late now.

After talking with my friend, the one from the born again friendship, I have discovered many things:
1. I need to see a shrink
2. We were meant to be friends again
3. I really don't like attention being drawn to me
4. I am even more uncomfortable in my own skin than I thought
5. I believe that most of my friends hang out with me because they pity me

You anonymous readers are probably thinking that I am some wackadoodle who has zero self esteem...
And you would be correct.
I am kind of a nutcase, and I don't have any self esteem.
It's OK if you think that of me because I don't know you, and this is my blog.

I have ridiculously low self esteem because I am so very unhappy with so many parts of my life.
As a result I really hate attention being drawn to me.
And I don't want my friends to hang out with me because they pity me.
I'm always the 3rd wheel, 5th wheel, etc.
That makes me even more depressed and self conscience, and I am just so sick of it.
I have become increasingly more distant from friends, and I find reasons to not hang out.
I am seriously considering not going to any NYE things that my friends are setting up.
I am feeling so uncomfortable, and I just really want to stay at home and not do anything.
I'll probably use work as an excuse.
Because I really do have to work at 7am on New Years day.
Yay retail.

Well, I'm exhausted and just want to cry, so i'll take some Nyquil and cry myself to sleep.
Sounds great to me.

Your wackadoodle,
Bamf