Mad at the world

Today is one of the days that I am mad at the world.
I'm not necessarily mad because of anything that has happened to me, but rather at life in general.
I get to work after having the weekend off, and find out two horrible things:
1) My boss' sick father had an aneurism on Friday, and he has irreversible brain damage. She is flying to NC and will be gone for weeks, indefinitely.
2) My coworker's father has taken a turn for the worse, due to succumbing to cancer, and is not expected to live past tomorrow.

I am mad that my friends have to go through such things.
I am mad that so many of my friends have lost their loved ones in the past several years.
I am mad for them, because they are having to be as strong as they can.
I am mad that there really isn't anything I can do for them.
All day I wanted to burst into tears for my coworker because of what she is going through.
I am mad that I am going to be under the stress and anxiety by these unfortunate events.

Know what else I am mad about?
I am mad that I had to order the bridesmaid dress size that I did.
I am mad that my self esteem went so low when I ordered it, as well as when I put it on.
I know that I am at fault, but I'm still mad.
I'm upset that I feel as if I will be tainting the image that my friend will have at her wedding, as I will be the fat maid of honor.
I hate being up in front of people because of it.
I am mad that I made myself the way that I am.
I am mad that I am mad.
Ugh.

I thought that Jazzercising would help with my anger tonight, but it didn't.
Here's to hoping that Yoga helps tomorrow night.
I'm also looking forward to my snuggle date with my friend's dogs on Wednesday.
I need to snuggle, even if it's with a dog.

I'm done for the day.

Mad at the world,
Bamf