Life isn't perfect, so therefore a person can't be expected to be either.
If everything were perfect, we wouldn't understand the value of some events that happen in life. Milestone events that can cause so much heartache for some people.
Tonight I learned that a very good friend of mine is pregnant. I am so happy for them, and I hope she has the picture perfect pregnancy. My friend B has had a very tough time with infertility, and at one time no one thought she would ever be able to get pregnant. Thanks to modern day medicine, and with the help of many praying friends, her and the hubby are expecting- and she was given the good news on her birthday! Best present ever! I have see my own family go through the infertility problems, so it was heartbreaking to see them go through it also. I am ever so grateful for the miracles in life- it gives hope to the rest of us.
As I see everyone around be becoming preggo, I wonder if I will ever get that. I wonder if I will want that, should I get to that point in life. It makes me sad that I fear I will never be given the chance. Deep down inside I know that what I want in life won't come until I am truly happy with where I am at in all stages. At the rate I am going, I wonder if I will ever get happy. I am so tired of being depressed, but I dot know what to do anymore. I'm ready to throw my hands up and surrender to a convent or something. Ok, that's a lie- I'm sure I would get kicked to the curb during purgatory. Damn my bad decisions.
I know I will never be perfect to some people, but I wonder if I will be my own version of 'almost perfect' someday. Only time will tell, but meanwhile, life must go on...
Love, peace, and chicken grease
Megan
Friday, June 29, 2012
Thursday, June 28, 2012
Something about Thursdays..
There is something about Thursdays.
In my world, while working at the job I have held in the past 6 years, very little good comes out of Thursdays.
Without a doubt there are tons of problems, I have to write the schedule, we are short-staffed, and most of us are getting stressed about the weekend ahead (especially when it is our weekend to work). Today was no different, and I am definitely feeling the need to have a flask in my car throughout the weekend so that I can add some Bailey's to my coffee in the morning. My boss has been gone all week on vacation, and on vacation she will remain for the next two weeks. Good for her, because God knows she deserves it, but it sucks for me. You see, I am the go-to person when my boss isn't around, and because of that I am forced to "lay down the law" in the department. Some coworkers have said that I have yelled at them, but really it is me just looking at them. I have the ultimate "bitch, I'll kill you. and think smarter and with common sense while you're at it." Obviously I work in retail, hooray for a useless college degree, so most of the jobs in the store could be done by monkeys. Seriously. Of course it is the peak birthday and graduation season, so EVERYONE wants a cake. Bah. Killmenow. Cross your fingers that I make it through the weekend without making a coworker cry or quit.
The only semi-positive news that I found out today, is that my dad is finally looking into retiring. He just turned sixty, and has been working non-stop since he was 7 or 8 years old. My grandpa drove truck over the road when my dad was young, so him and his brother had to take care of the farm when their dad was at work, so as a result he has never known anything different. Nearly 11 years ago my dad had a stroke, caused by the artery in neck/base of the brain tearing. Because of the location they have never been able to do surgery to get rid of the blockage, and as a result he has been on blood thinner this whole time. Back in February/March he had another small stroke, and didn't tell anyone for nearly a week. After doctor visits, he was told that the next stroke he has will be a big one and more than likely he will die right away from it. They stressed not doing heavy lifting, or being in excessive heat, or working long hours. Of course he doesn't take any consideration into what the doctors say, and he tries to go back to work. He lasted for nearly a month, but this high humidity and high temps have been enough, and he is talking to the union about trying to get early retirement. He runs heavy equipment for a paving company, so all he does is work outside. There is no other option for him, so I'm glad he is choosing to do this and to not die while working on the job. This whole time that he has been back at work I have been worried sick to my stomach everyday, wondering whether or not my dad will make it home alive from work. I hope that this is the beginning of the end of his working chapter, so he can focus on his health. I would love to have him around as much as possible, and I know the rest of my family does too.
Paleo day 3 was... tough.
Sorry for the jumping around of subjects. This is my life- I am constantly moving, going somewhere, and thinking something in my head. Very quickly I can change subjects, or be thing about 20 different things in my head at once. I'm not so sure about myself anymore, but it is what it is! Embrace it.
Being Paleo at work is fine because I bring my own lunch so I know what I am eating is OK. I haven't quite figured out how to eat when eating with friends, whether it is at their house or at a restaurant. My friend invited me over for dinner tonight, so the early evening was spent rushing home from work to change out of my frosting covered clothing, and then rushing back to town (with a quick stop at the liquor store, no doubt). I wasn't able to prepare anything before, and I tried to explain the Paleo ways to her, but I don't think she got it on our quick phone call. She understood I don't do Pasta, but didn't catch onto the 'no dairy and no grains of any sort.' It was fine and I ate it anyway- it's not as if I have any sort of intolerance to it, so I didn't have to worry about getting sick or anything. My body was already confused by the food even after a few days. It's amazing the quick difference that your body feels after making a change such as going to protein, fruits, and vegetables.
Anyway, since I ran out of prepared meals I had to do some cooking when I got home around 10pm. As much as I would like to be in bed already, I would rather have food for tomorrow so I have one less thing to stress about. Work and other obligations will consume my day, so I made enough food to last me into Saturday at work. Thank for for planning and cooking ahead of time. I definitely need to broaden my horizons with the food, but until I make my way to Whole Foods or Trader Joes, it will have to wait. None of the local grocery stores care almond flour, coconut butter, or anything else like that. I find some stuff, but for now I need to roll with what I got.
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I don't mind having roasted veggies and chicken everyday- I add new veggies every time and then try to add new spices. This weekend I am going to attempt to make some salmon for next week, along with other fish.
I better go and set my coffee maker for tomorrow morning, and then crawl into bed. Thursdays are exhausting and I have to work at 7am. yucky.
Peace and Paleo,
Megan
In my world, while working at the job I have held in the past 6 years, very little good comes out of Thursdays.
Without a doubt there are tons of problems, I have to write the schedule, we are short-staffed, and most of us are getting stressed about the weekend ahead (especially when it is our weekend to work). Today was no different, and I am definitely feeling the need to have a flask in my car throughout the weekend so that I can add some Bailey's to my coffee in the morning. My boss has been gone all week on vacation, and on vacation she will remain for the next two weeks. Good for her, because God knows she deserves it, but it sucks for me. You see, I am the go-to person when my boss isn't around, and because of that I am forced to "lay down the law" in the department. Some coworkers have said that I have yelled at them, but really it is me just looking at them. I have the ultimate "bitch, I'll kill you. and think smarter and with common sense while you're at it." Obviously I work in retail, hooray for a useless college degree, so most of the jobs in the store could be done by monkeys. Seriously. Of course it is the peak birthday and graduation season, so EVERYONE wants a cake. Bah. Killmenow. Cross your fingers that I make it through the weekend without making a coworker cry or quit.
The only semi-positive news that I found out today, is that my dad is finally looking into retiring. He just turned sixty, and has been working non-stop since he was 7 or 8 years old. My grandpa drove truck over the road when my dad was young, so him and his brother had to take care of the farm when their dad was at work, so as a result he has never known anything different. Nearly 11 years ago my dad had a stroke, caused by the artery in neck/base of the brain tearing. Because of the location they have never been able to do surgery to get rid of the blockage, and as a result he has been on blood thinner this whole time. Back in February/March he had another small stroke, and didn't tell anyone for nearly a week. After doctor visits, he was told that the next stroke he has will be a big one and more than likely he will die right away from it. They stressed not doing heavy lifting, or being in excessive heat, or working long hours. Of course he doesn't take any consideration into what the doctors say, and he tries to go back to work. He lasted for nearly a month, but this high humidity and high temps have been enough, and he is talking to the union about trying to get early retirement. He runs heavy equipment for a paving company, so all he does is work outside. There is no other option for him, so I'm glad he is choosing to do this and to not die while working on the job. This whole time that he has been back at work I have been worried sick to my stomach everyday, wondering whether or not my dad will make it home alive from work. I hope that this is the beginning of the end of his working chapter, so he can focus on his health. I would love to have him around as much as possible, and I know the rest of my family does too.
Paleo day 3 was... tough.
Sorry for the jumping around of subjects. This is my life- I am constantly moving, going somewhere, and thinking something in my head. Very quickly I can change subjects, or be thing about 20 different things in my head at once. I'm not so sure about myself anymore, but it is what it is! Embrace it.
Being Paleo at work is fine because I bring my own lunch so I know what I am eating is OK. I haven't quite figured out how to eat when eating with friends, whether it is at their house or at a restaurant. My friend invited me over for dinner tonight, so the early evening was spent rushing home from work to change out of my frosting covered clothing, and then rushing back to town (with a quick stop at the liquor store, no doubt). I wasn't able to prepare anything before, and I tried to explain the Paleo ways to her, but I don't think she got it on our quick phone call. She understood I don't do Pasta, but didn't catch onto the 'no dairy and no grains of any sort.' It was fine and I ate it anyway- it's not as if I have any sort of intolerance to it, so I didn't have to worry about getting sick or anything. My body was already confused by the food even after a few days. It's amazing the quick difference that your body feels after making a change such as going to protein, fruits, and vegetables.
Anyway, since I ran out of prepared meals I had to do some cooking when I got home around 10pm. As much as I would like to be in bed already, I would rather have food for tomorrow so I have one less thing to stress about. Work and other obligations will consume my day, so I made enough food to last me into Saturday at work. Thank for for planning and cooking ahead of time. I definitely need to broaden my horizons with the food, but until I make my way to Whole Foods or Trader Joes, it will have to wait. None of the local grocery stores care almond flour, coconut butter, or anything else like that. I find some stuff, but for now I need to roll with what I got.
I better go and set my coffee maker for tomorrow morning, and then crawl into bed. Thursdays are exhausting and I have to work at 7am. yucky.
Peace and Paleo,
Megan
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
I survived. And cheated.
This Paleo thing is harder than I imagined it would be. Don't get me wrong, I knew it would be hard to completely change the way that you think and eat. Not to mention that I have been eating this way for 20+ years. But yesterday, on day 1 of becoming Paleo, I hit a roadblock. Roadblock = my job.
Now I'm sure you are wondering what my job is. If you haven't read my profile yet, please go and read it now.
Done? OK, great.
Now that you have seen that, you will know that I am not just a cake decorator, but rather a cake decorator extraordinaire. I'm a bad ass. I'm kind of a big deal. Kind of. Anyway, I've been decorating for almost 2 years now, and I'll just say that it a love/hate(morehatethanlove) job. I work for a big box retailer, and I get to make some pretty awesome cakes. So while I have been trying multiple times to become healthy, my job hasn't been getting in my way too much. Honestly, after looking at cake for 40 hours a week for the past two years (if you do that math that is (40 hrs x 52 weeks) x 2= 4,100 hours holyshit), the last thing on this earth that I would ever want to eat is cake. Unless forced. And if I must, I will eat the cake. Not the icing. Wayyy too much sugar in that shit. Anotherhorror joy of my job, is to hand out cookies to hooligans kids. Lemme just say, after I was done with work yesterday that is ALL I could think about. IJUSTWANTEDADAMNCOOKIE!
So I caved. I had a damn cookie. Times 5. Plus a few pieces of dark chocolate.
Then I was done, I promise.
Good lord, I had no idea that the smell of cookies would hit me like that. I'll just give you a brief overview of my heritage- I am German, Norwegian, Swedish, and I grew up with a father who grew up on a farm. All of this translates to me loving three main food groups: dairy, bread, and dairy. Hooolly cow I love my dairy. If you add some bread in there, I am so overjoyed I may pee. Oddly enough, that hasn't bothered me too much, and instead I severely miss my sweets. Aka, one of the worst things for your body. More importantly, they are overly processed sweets usually. That smell sent me off on a cookie rampage, so I will have to figure out what to do at work so it doesn't throw me into a tailspin like that again. I may just force all of my coworkers to open the cookie packages for me until I can restrain myself. Otherwise who knows what might happen. It will be an adventure.
Besides the huge cookie debacle, the main thing that I need to do is buy more of the staple foods, and look up recipes so I can make a better variety of food (not that I don't love having chicken everyday...). My rents said they would be willing to make the Paleo foods (until they decide they need their bread), so we will see what things we can come up with.
Right now I'm craving sweets hardcore, so I made some cocoa-coconut mounds, made via inspiration from Juli over at paleomg.com.
I have been learning a lot about Paleo from Juli, so check her out. Her recipes are awesome.
Anyway, here is a picture of on of my mounds
I didn't have all of the ingredients that she had, so I won't post my variation of the recipe until I play with it a little more, adding in other ingredients that are deemed appropriate. One thing that I noticed is that after not having hardly any artificial sweetener for the past two days, this recipe was a little too sweet and threw me off. Obviously they will get eaten, but next time I will figure out how to tame down the beast.
Cross your fingers for me that tomorrow will be better for me regarding the cookie aroma inhalation. It's a killer.
Stay classy.
Cookie Monster Megan
Now I'm sure you are wondering what my job is. If you haven't read my profile yet, please go and read it now.
Done? OK, great.
Now that you have seen that, you will know that I am not just a cake decorator, but rather a cake decorator extraordinaire. I'm a bad ass. I'm kind of a big deal. Kind of. Anyway, I've been decorating for almost 2 years now, and I'll just say that it a love/hate(morehatethanlove) job. I work for a big box retailer, and I get to make some pretty awesome cakes. So while I have been trying multiple times to become healthy, my job hasn't been getting in my way too much. Honestly, after looking at cake for 40 hours a week for the past two years (if you do that math that is (40 hrs x 52 weeks) x 2= 4,100 hours holyshit), the last thing on this earth that I would ever want to eat is cake. Unless forced. And if I must, I will eat the cake. Not the icing. Wayyy too much sugar in that shit. Another
So I caved. I had a damn cookie. Times 5. Plus a few pieces of dark chocolate.
Then I was done, I promise.
Good lord, I had no idea that the smell of cookies would hit me like that. I'll just give you a brief overview of my heritage- I am German, Norwegian, Swedish, and I grew up with a father who grew up on a farm. All of this translates to me loving three main food groups: dairy, bread, and dairy. Hooolly cow I love my dairy. If you add some bread in there, I am so overjoyed I may pee. Oddly enough, that hasn't bothered me too much, and instead I severely miss my sweets. Aka, one of the worst things for your body. More importantly, they are overly processed sweets usually. That smell sent me off on a cookie rampage, so I will have to figure out what to do at work so it doesn't throw me into a tailspin like that again. I may just force all of my coworkers to open the cookie packages for me until I can restrain myself. Otherwise who knows what might happen. It will be an adventure.
Besides the huge cookie debacle, the main thing that I need to do is buy more of the staple foods, and look up recipes so I can make a better variety of food (not that I don't love having chicken everyday...). My rents said they would be willing to make the Paleo foods (until they decide they need their bread), so we will see what things we can come up with.
Right now I'm craving sweets hardcore, so I made some cocoa-coconut mounds, made via inspiration from Juli over at paleomg.com.
I have been learning a lot about Paleo from Juli, so check her out. Her recipes are awesome.
Anyway, here is a picture of on of my mounds
Cross your fingers for me that tomorrow will be better for me regarding the cookie aroma inhalation. It's a killer.
Stay classy.
Cookie Monster Megan
Monday, June 25, 2012
Paleo...
I have decided to do it.
I am going to try the Paleo diet.
If you don't know what it is, look it up. I am not sure how my body/brain/sanity will deal with no dairy, sugar, grains, or anything else for that matter. But I am desperate, so I will do what I need to in order to be happy.
This all begins tomorrow. I don't want to give up my cow juice (milk) :( or my cookies |its the most fantastic combo|.
I formally apologize to my coworkers ahead of time (not that they will ever read this), for me being crabby as I work surrounded by bread and cake/cookies. Hmm, cake decorating may become difficult after awhile. Good thing I want something else to do anyway. I will miss my caramel macchiatos.. I don't think caramel is Paleo. Wtf. Oh joy.
May the force be with me.
What the hell am I getting myself into?
Peace and Paleo thoughts,
BAMF
I am going to try the Paleo diet.
If you don't know what it is, look it up. I am not sure how my body/brain/sanity will deal with no dairy, sugar, grains, or anything else for that matter. But I am desperate, so I will do what I need to in order to be happy.
This all begins tomorrow. I don't want to give up my cow juice (milk) :( or my cookies |its the most fantastic combo|.
I formally apologize to my coworkers ahead of time (not that they will ever read this), for me being crabby as I work surrounded by bread and cake/cookies. Hmm, cake decorating may become difficult after awhile. Good thing I want something else to do anyway. I will miss my caramel macchiatos.. I don't think caramel is Paleo. Wtf. Oh joy.
May the force be with me.
What the hell am I getting myself into?
Peace and Paleo thoughts,
BAMF
It was an exciting weekend... full of sleeping.
You'd swear that I never slept if you saw my sleeping pattern from this past weekend.
Friday night into Saturday I slept for 9ish hours, was up for one hour, fell asleep watching golf on TV, so I went back to bed for two more hours. Saturday night into Sunday I slept for 10ish hours. Re-diculous.
Saturday ended up being a very depressing/debbie downer/pity party/fml-type day. I had anticipated being with the bff, but those plans were shot to shit, so I sat. Doing basically nothing. I pretended to watch Golf, acting like I was interested and knowing what I was watching. I was sooo wrong. So I proceeded to watch television shows which I was probably way toomature old to be watching, and eventually ended my protest against looking civil enough to walk out in public. I was so pissed/depressed that I hardly left to go to dinner with the rents because honestly, I was upset that the Saturday night I was off I had ZERO friends to go out with. Not to mention that fact that I'm 25 and still live with my parents. WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE?!?! *le sigh*
Talk about a hit to the ego. I know people. A lot of people. So much that when I go to a bar downtown I tend to know at least one or two people in the bar. When I'm working I spend more time talking with people who stop by to visit, than I do working. Honestly. I think my coworkers want to slap me most days because I don't get shit done. You would think that my Saturday off with NO PLANS would entail me seeing people- a lot of them. Haha, not a fucking chance. Nada. Zippo. None. I have come to the point in not even contacting my married friends on the weekends, because honestly, who would want to hang out with a 'single-not a partner in my future-still working weekends' friend? If I was them, I wouldn't either. Who wants to hang out with a single lame-o friend, and put them into the position of being the odd wheel, when you can just spend time with other friend couples? None of my friends would say it to me, I don't think, but I know better. I can see it in their eyes.. I can smell it on them.. Well, that may be the booze. Hmm. Good for them, bad for me. Why, you may ask? Oh, ya know, only because 98% of my friends are married/engaged/in a relationship. The other 2% are either 1) Living out of state, or are 2) Single with big people jobs so they spend times traveling on weekends like a normal person. I won't even get into how many of them have kids...
The best way that I have found to keep me away from the 'fml' attitude, is to stay off Facebook. Only a few close friends can see my thoughts on Twitter, and they are work friends, so I really don't care. Now I'm just waiting to see how long it takes friends to notice. I think it will be awhile. Oh well.
I desperately need to get a second job so I can move out on my own, and also so I don't have to worry about this past weekend's debacle happening again. No more of that needs to be happening. Maybe I'll just try and pick up more babysitting jobs. Nothing like reaching back to my 12 year old roots.
I might as well continue on my weekend debacle into Monday night, and end the protest with golfing tomorrow. After I buy a golf glove. OK, I'll go even without one, because I am too lazy to make that drive into CR. Oh the life I live...
Until next time,
Single/pity-partier Megan
Friday night into Saturday I slept for 9ish hours, was up for one hour, fell asleep watching golf on TV, so I went back to bed for two more hours. Saturday night into Sunday I slept for 10ish hours. Re-diculous.
Saturday ended up being a very depressing/debbie downer/pity party/fml-type day. I had anticipated being with the bff, but those plans were shot to shit, so I sat. Doing basically nothing. I pretended to watch Golf, acting like I was interested and knowing what I was watching. I was sooo wrong. So I proceeded to watch television shows which I was probably way too
Talk about a hit to the ego. I know people. A lot of people. So much that when I go to a bar downtown I tend to know at least one or two people in the bar. When I'm working I spend more time talking with people who stop by to visit, than I do working. Honestly. I think my coworkers want to slap me most days because I don't get shit done. You would think that my Saturday off with NO PLANS would entail me seeing people- a lot of them. Haha, not a fucking chance. Nada. Zippo. None. I have come to the point in not even contacting my married friends on the weekends, because honestly, who would want to hang out with a 'single-not a partner in my future-still working weekends' friend? If I was them, I wouldn't either. Who wants to hang out with a single lame-o friend, and put them into the position of being the odd wheel, when you can just spend time with other friend couples? None of my friends would say it to me, I don't think, but I know better. I can see it in their eyes.. I can smell it on them.. Well, that may be the booze. Hmm. Good for them, bad for me. Why, you may ask? Oh, ya know, only because 98% of my friends are married/engaged/in a relationship. The other 2% are either 1) Living out of state, or are 2) Single with big people jobs so they spend times traveling on weekends like a normal person. I won't even get into how many of them have kids...
The best way that I have found to keep me away from the 'fml' attitude, is to stay off Facebook. Only a few close friends can see my thoughts on Twitter, and they are work friends, so I really don't care. Now I'm just waiting to see how long it takes friends to notice. I think it will be awhile. Oh well.
I desperately need to get a second job so I can move out on my own, and also so I don't have to worry about this past weekend's debacle happening again. No more of that needs to be happening. Maybe I'll just try and pick up more babysitting jobs. Nothing like reaching back to my 12 year old roots.
I might as well continue on my weekend debacle into Monday night, and end the protest with golfing tomorrow. After I buy a golf glove. OK, I'll go even without one, because I am too lazy to make that drive into CR. Oh the life I live...
Until next time,
Single/pity-partier Megan
Friday, June 22, 2012
Past failures lead to more randomness
I have attempted to blog in the past.
Two separate blogs. One about my ridiculous life at that time, and one about a bucket list that I kind of have.
Some days I am convinced that I have a undiagnosed case of ADD. I start things (blogs, workout routines, hobbies, etc.) and then abruptly stop them because, well, I honestly just get bored. I just.. can't.. concentrate. If I see something shiny, I'm done for. If someone talks to me, I've abandoned ship and I'm into la-la-land talking about golf, llamas, and random people in my department who like to flaunt their boobs. I'm sure all of my coworkershate love me for it.
So here I sit, creating yet another blog. Third time's the charm? It's go time.
This is my weekend off of work. I had huge grandiose plans that I would have bff time, followed by whatever time, and then ending with a great party for my niece.
Yep, all those plans went down the shitter, and here I sit. My bff bailed on me (for which I do not blame her- she should spend time with her dadski/broski. In reality, I envy her, but that's for another time...) Some friends I would like to see have to work, boo, and others, well, they are married or have a bf/gf, you know how it goes. So now I have no plans. And I don't know what to do with myself.
I normally have something to do all the time. I mean really, ALL the time. Weekdays are ridiculous, weekends that I work are ridiculous, and that's how it goes. So when I have nothing planned to do, I begin to go stir crazy before the day even begins.
What is wrong with me??
So as I sit here, doing some hardcore pouting and cursing at the universe, I attempt to make plans. Plans that I doubt I will even be able to follow through with. My Saturday should contain cleaning, cleaning, and money budgeting. What I want it to contain is golfing range, scrapbooking, and watching girlie movies. What is will more than likely contain is sleeping in super late, staying in my pajamas until 4ish, showering, eating food, and then bumming around on the puter until bedtime at 8ish.
Yes, reality sounds wonderful, but I never wanted to be that person. I blame my job for making me into that person. Working every other weekend really screws with your body. You have no idea what day is what. It sucks monkey balls. So at times like these, I wish I already had that second job that I applied for. Then I never have to worry about finding a way to fill free time, because I just won't have any.
Like I said, I am used to having something to do ALL the time.
I'm crazy, I know.
Right now I just want to cry my eyes out because I watched Nicholas Sparks' book/movie "The Last Song". Holy shizz, I bawled throughout the last half of the movie. It was horrible, and was hitting way too close to home. I couldn't hardly stand to watch the rest of it, but I prevailed and made it through it. Nicholas Sparks is an evil genius that wants to play with all of our emotions and make us feel horribly about ourselves because we cry through every movie of his. Makes me feel like a major softie, a drama queen, or an incredibly messed up individual. I could honestly go any of those ways.
On that note, I think it's bedtime.
I wonder if I will be in a positive mood tomorrow.
Ha, who am I kidding. I will be a bitter old lady who is mad at the world. I'm calling it right now.
And when I am correct, you can send me all of the seasons of the sitcome 7th Heaven. I WANT IT SO BAD. So freakin bad. So, make it happen.
Catch ya on the flip side.
BAMF
Two separate blogs. One about my ridiculous life at that time, and one about a bucket list that I kind of have.
Some days I am convinced that I have a undiagnosed case of ADD. I start things (blogs, workout routines, hobbies, etc.) and then abruptly stop them because, well, I honestly just get bored. I just.. can't.. concentrate. If I see something shiny, I'm done for. If someone talks to me, I've abandoned ship and I'm into la-la-land talking about golf, llamas, and random people in my department who like to flaunt their boobs. I'm sure all of my coworkers
So here I sit, creating yet another blog. Third time's the charm? It's go time.
This is my weekend off of work. I had huge grandiose plans that I would have bff time, followed by whatever time, and then ending with a great party for my niece.
Yep, all those plans went down the shitter, and here I sit. My bff bailed on me (for which I do not blame her- she should spend time with her dadski/broski. In reality, I envy her, but that's for another time...) Some friends I would like to see have to work, boo, and others, well, they are married or have a bf/gf, you know how it goes. So now I have no plans. And I don't know what to do with myself.
I normally have something to do all the time. I mean really, ALL the time. Weekdays are ridiculous, weekends that I work are ridiculous, and that's how it goes. So when I have nothing planned to do, I begin to go stir crazy before the day even begins.
What is wrong with me??
So as I sit here, doing some hardcore pouting and cursing at the universe, I attempt to make plans. Plans that I doubt I will even be able to follow through with. My Saturday should contain cleaning, cleaning, and money budgeting. What I want it to contain is golfing range, scrapbooking, and watching girlie movies. What is will more than likely contain is sleeping in super late, staying in my pajamas until 4ish, showering, eating food, and then bumming around on the puter until bedtime at 8ish.
Yes, reality sounds wonderful, but I never wanted to be that person. I blame my job for making me into that person. Working every other weekend really screws with your body. You have no idea what day is what. It sucks monkey balls. So at times like these, I wish I already had that second job that I applied for. Then I never have to worry about finding a way to fill free time, because I just won't have any.
Like I said, I am used to having something to do ALL the time.
I'm crazy, I know.
Right now I just want to cry my eyes out because I watched Nicholas Sparks' book/movie "The Last Song". Holy shizz, I bawled throughout the last half of the movie. It was horrible, and was hitting way too close to home. I couldn't hardly stand to watch the rest of it, but I prevailed and made it through it. Nicholas Sparks is an evil genius that wants to play with all of our emotions and make us feel horribly about ourselves because we cry through every movie of his. Makes me feel like a major softie, a drama queen, or an incredibly messed up individual. I could honestly go any of those ways.
On that note, I think it's bedtime.
I wonder if I will be in a positive mood tomorrow.
Ha, who am I kidding. I will be a bitter old lady who is mad at the world. I'm calling it right now.
And when I am correct, you can send me all of the seasons of the sitcome 7th Heaven. I WANT IT SO BAD. So freakin bad. So, make it happen.
Catch ya on the flip side.
BAMF
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