Dog Heaven

I'm convinced there is a dog heaven.
Man's best friend has to have their own heaven, because they are most often more loyal to their owner than anyone else will be.
My brother's dog, who we raised at my parent's house for nearly the first year of her life, died today. She was left out in the heat for hours, and her old heart just could not take it. Their other dog survived, thankfully, but I don't know how  the other dog will do without his companion. My brother feels horrible, and blames himself because my sister-in-law and him forgot to put the dogs in. Today the temperature was averaging around 100 degrees with a heat index of 112 degrees.
I feel so bad for my brother, but I feel worse for Daisy. She didn't deserve to die that way. She hated fireworks, so it's a possibility that people in the neighborhood shooting off fireworks made her so aggravated that she had a heart attack, but odds are it was the heat. Daisy was such a good dog, and I will miss her dearly. I am confident that she is playing with my old dog, Reno, up in doggy heaven. She is probably relieved to be with her old buddy again, but we will miss her down here. It is almost surreal. It brings me back to the day my dog Reno had to be put down, and my heart aches. Why must things like that happen? I just pray that their other dog, Phil, pulls through and doesn't die from heartache as a result. I don't know how any of my family would be able to handle that. I'm not sure how I will be able to handle going up to their house knowing she won't be there.

I really don't like the circle of life.

I'm pretty sure that the reason this is hitting me so bad is because I'm afraid my dad will continue to go to work, even though his body can't handle it, and that he will die from the heat as well. As the temperatures average between 95 and 100 degrees, he continues to work in nearly no air conditioning because he does not want to quit working unless it is by his own terms. Yesterday he got into a minor accident because he had such a bad headache from work, that he closed his eyes and then rear ended someone. Thankfully no one was hurt, but his bumper was messed up. I am absolutely terrified that something worse will happen if he continues on this path, but no one can convince him to do anything. It must all be on his own terms, but I'm afraid that waiting until his own terms will be too late. The realization yesterday of how far he is actually pushing himself just makes me pissed off and mad and I just want to scream and hit something.

I can't find a way to be happy if I am so scared, worried, and upset all the time. It's hard to mask it, but I was raised in a way that you don't express your feelings, and instead you supress them until you explode. It's a great thing.. not. I have no idea what to do with my life anymore,  because I am in a constant state of worry. This is all driving me crazy and proving to be too much for me. I'm not sure where to go from here.

I am so lost, and missing Daisy.

Blubbering ball of tears,
Bamf