If anyone knows me, they would know that I am very lazy and horrible at : 1) sending letters/emails, and 2) calling people to keep in touch with them.
I used to be really good at it. And then, well, I got lazy because no one else tried to keep in touch with me.
So I basically said fuck it and just decided to do the minimal, just, well, just because. As sort of a test to find out who my friends were, and who my
That's about it. Andrea, Melissa, Kelsey, Justina, Missy, Amber, Alyssa, Becca, and Nicole are the ones who I would actually call my friends. I call them, they call me, and we spend time together whenever we can.
Everyone else, they just exist. I seem to exist when they need something. Imagine that. Me, I don't ask anyone for help. Ever. Even when I clearly need it, such as putting something really heavy high up on a shelf at work. I am just stubborn and would rather find out a way to get it all done on my own. Sometimes that results on dropping stuff on my head, or doing it the hard way, but I've just come to realize that you can't rely on anyone else but yourself.
At my old age (old in my mind), I have come to realize how a wedding changes everything. Like, really changes everything. Once your friends get married, the pot of normalcy is stirred, and nothing will ever settle to the way that it used to be. It becomes that on the weekends, and week nights they need to do everything together, and then you throw babies in to the mix and all hope is lost. And basically, if you are a friend who is not married, nor is in the process of getting married anytime soon, you are pretty much kicked to the curbside because they would rather spend time with other couple so there is no third wheel to that. Some people aren't affected very much, and others are so totally different.
Being in someones wedding is also a very defining moment, because it leaves you in a tango of whether or not they really want you to be a part of it, or if they feel obligated. How you do you know the difference, you ask? Those who really want you in the wedding will keep in contact with you, and will also make an effort to spend time with you. Those who feel obligated will never be the first to try and find time to get together, and they will often let the friendship fall to the wayside. If you don't talk much in the year following the wedding, your friendship is doomed. Not even a 20 year friendship is safe. Seriously. At least not for me.
Maybe this is me being bitter, more than likely the case, but maybe this is just the honest truth that needs to be thrown out there. But tonight as I looked through my phone, trying to find a friend to spend time with, I found none. None that I would even try to bother. Some of them I knew were working, had to work early in the morning, or were out of town. The others are married, married with kids, have a significant other that they spend all their time with, or they live father than an hour away. Working every other weekend makes it even more difficult to keep in touch, because the normal person doesn't have Tuesdays or Wednesdays off like i do, therefore they can't go shopping or out to lunch on those days. I have to plan my trips
So as I see more and more people getting engaged, I just chalk it up to one less person to keep in contact with, and one more that I can delete from my phone. Saves me space and heartache. I'd delete them from Facebook, but if they notice and message me, that could be an awkward conversation. I have done it with a few already, so time will tell if anyone even really pays attention to my existence.
If you're saying I'm dramatic, don't worry, I know.
But this is how I see it, and I have learned to call it like it see it.
It is what it is.
Word out,
BAMF
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