Habit

I am a creature of one.
When I get into the habit of something, I must do it, otherwise my day very well might crumble.
In the morning, I must do my normal routine before working, INCLUDING breakfast.
If I can't get my breakfast in, I'm done for.
I will be so off of my game, and I will hate the world.
Sad but true.
In the evening, I must prep my lunch for work the next day otherwise I will not have time to make it in the morning.
I am learning that I must do the same thing with my morning smoothie.
If I don't prep them, I won't have time for them.
Why is that, you might ask?
Oh because I like to hit the snooze button until the last possible second.
Often times I hit it so much that I can't shower before work.
Kinda gross, I know, but that's how I roll.
I value sleep over most everything, even eating.
Truth.
I need to get to a morning routine of waking up at the same time, but it's so hard to not sleep in on my days off, especially since I work every other weekend.
Working retail doesn't give me a routine.
It actually doesn't give me one at all.
My days off change with the wind, as do the hours that I work.
I'm not a fan.
Not having a routine makes me crumble, and I have been feeling it hardcore lately.
It stresses me out.
A lot.
Stress is not good for me.
I need to work harder on not stressing out, mainly at work.
Between no routine, and the horrible slashing of our hours, work is becoming unbearable.
We are basically down a decorator, the hours distribution is horrendous, and the corporation doesn't really give a crap about us.
They tell us to do our best, but that isn't really an option.
If we just do our best, cake orders won't get done.
If cake orders don't get done, then we will catch hell from the guests.
If we catch hell from the guests, we will then catch hell from management, and then a viscous cycle ensues.
So we have no option but to skip every break besides the required ones, and bust our asses to stay afloat.
This isn't what I want to do with my life, not in the least.
I don't want to be stressed out and unhappy, but I'm not sure what else to do.
I want to own my own cake business, I really do.
But right now I can't afford to start one, so I will remain with a job that ensures me a paycheck and benefits.
If I default on my loan, then I really won't be able to start my business, and yadda yadda yadda; you know how it goes.
If work wasn't stressing me out enough, my BFFs wedding is doing it also.
I don't know how to kindly bug someone to get their shit in a pile.
I'll have to work on that this week.
Just another thing added to my growing list...

Ok, bedtime since I have to work tomorrow.
Here's to hoping that tomorrow is a helluva lot better than yesterday and today...
No promises.

Keeping it real,
Bamf