I had a revelation

So I had a revelation today, at work.
Well, honestly my friend K told me something that made me think.

When I got to work I was in a crappy mood. Actually, I had been in a horrible mood all week.
Like, I had a mental breakdown at work yesterday in front of my boss.
In the 6 years I have been working there, I've only had two break downs which is good for me.
The past week for me consisted of family illnesses, dog/cat/housesitting, creating an annoying cake for someone, hearing from a past friend, work, bad sleep, and family drama.
Being able to see one of my best friends at 7am was my saving grace.
In the first 10 minutes at work, some of her words helped resolve a lot of feelings/causes of my breakdown from yesterday (why did i not talk to her days ago?!).

She could instantly tell from my face that something was wrong, so I quickly filled her on everything that had happened in the past week.
Then I got to the story about hearing from the past friend.
I explained everything to her, and then she told me something that really made me think.
She said that she had been in an abusive relationship before, and it's hard to get out. You don't think like a person on the outside does. I told her how it took the past friend 3 years to talk to me, but even after that a lot of frustration just kind of dissipated.
So then I got 9 hours to ponder what she said in a mere 10 seconds.
And then it all kind of clicked.
At that time, 3 years ago, I was still very naive. I straight out had not experienced enough in life to make those judgements, but oh man, I sure did.
In the past few years I know several people who have been mentally and physically abused. I saw the different outcomes, and as a result I have just learned a lot more. Not that it was good, but I learned it none the less.
For 9 straight hours all I could think about was how horrible of a friend I was to HER.
I knew she was going through all of this, but I never once asked if I could help, and instead I got on my high-horse and rode off into the sunset not thinking I should look back.
Not thinking that I was in the wrong at all.
No, I was not the one abusing her. No, I was not in control of what she did. But I was her friend, and I should have tried my damn hardest to get her out of that position.
I can't go back and change anything, nor can I say that I would have been able to do anything, but damn it I should have said something.
What if I had not taken the easy way out, and instead tried to face it head on with her? Where would we both be? Where would out friendship be now?

It's sad to think that the combination of everything may have severed a great friendship, but I certainly took a lot away from it. I have realized 5 things:
1) It is important to look at things from the other side/perspective. And if you can't look and see it, ask them questions.
2) Do not just walk away from friendships when you know someone is being abused in any way. Stand by them, because they may need you but not be able to say anything, but they may depend on you more than you could ever know. And you WILL know of more than one person abused at one point or another. Sad truth.
3) When you are in the mentality that you know everything, that is when you can be certain that you know nothing, so get off your high horse.
4) Your parents are right, you get wiser with age.
5) It's not too late to make amends.

I have stepped off of my high-horse, admitted my faults, and feel as if I can be a better friend.
I will pass on this knowledge whenever I can.

These are the facts of life.

~BAMF