Sing Loud

Well, I guess if someone has a good voice they should sing loud.
Or if you really like good songs, you should listen to Alpha Rev's awesome song.
You will learn to love it.
Holy bananas, life has been ridiculously busy the last week.
I don't even know where the days go.
This past weekend I worked, so that was my main focus.
That and attempting to get in a workout every day.
Friday I went to the gym after work, then had dinner with the fam.
I got to see my niece and nephew, so that was nice, especially since I missed out on my nephew's family birthday party because of tap dance and kettle bells.
Saturday was a clusterfuck at work, and I ended up working, going to take my tap dance pictures, and then back to work.
I worked 11 hours on Saturday, so I didn't have much time to go and get a workout in.
I was gone from 6:30am to 8:30pm, so I couldn't quite drag myself anywhere besides to bed.
Sunday I worked, got a quick few miles in on the treadmill (i don't like treadmills), and then rushed to meet a friend for dinner.
Right as I finished up my workout and was stretching, the power went out at the Y.
The lights at the intersection in front of the Y were out as well, so I'm still not quite sure what happened.
Thankfully the road there isn't too busy on a Sunday evening, but it's still not good when the lights aren't even flashing red.
Today the Y had power, so that was good.
I managed to sleep in, and then hit the gym just before noon.
I have quickly discovered that that is the prime time to go.
Tomorrow will be a repeat performance.

I'm not sure if I've mentioned before, but I've become pretty much addicted to working out now.
I have such and urge and WANT to go.
I want to sweat and to get in shape.
I need that adrenaline rush.
I want to continue to see myself get stronger and in better shape.
In order to push myself harder, I now keep track of my workouts in a notebook.

It probably puts me at nerd status, but I don't even care.
Over the past few weeks I have seen my weight increase on machines, my distance get further, and my heart rate come down.
As my heart becomes accustomed to working out, it takes longer for it to get up as high as it once did.
My legs are stronger, my arms are even more stronger (bad grammar, I know, but it's true).
I am determined to be able to do a correct plank, as well as doing a stacked plank.
My Fitbit that I bought also keeps track of my steps, so I always write down my steps per day.
Yes, I am most definitely a nerd.
Oh yeah, my friend yesterday called me a gymrat.
I'm a fan.

I got home and fueled myself with a smoothie packed with spinach, banana, strawberry, 1 scoop of vanilla protein powder, and coconut water.

Not too shabby.
And of course I had to have my egg sandwich.

Today and tomorrow are my only days off in the next week, as I will work 7 days in a row in order to have the weekend off for my BFF's wedding.

Today I was finally motivated enough to bring in my bridesmaid dress to be altered.

Tomorrow I MUST go and get my friend Missy's bridal shower gift for this weekend, so I can send it with a friend.

I should probably go and get a spray tan too- need to do a test run on the spray tans that I bought from a Groupon. 

Here's to hoping that I don't turn out like an oompa loompa.

Ok, I'm off.

Taco salad time.

Stay classy,

Bamf

Rest Day

Aren't my new running shoes pretty?! They're heavenly!

Oh boy did I need a rest day today.
Last night's kettle bell class worked me so hard that I couldn't sleep.
My gluts were so painful from my thigh to my lower back, and my upper back across the shoulder blades was oh so painful.
Abs, those were a hurting too.
I couldn't find a comfortable position in bed, so I just flopped all night.
Thankfully I only had to work a 4 hour shift at work today, so I bought a heating pad at work and came home to lay in bed all afternoon with my heating pad and body full of ibproufen.
I got a couple hour nap in, so that was nice.
Jazzercise most definitely didn't happen tonight- wasn't even a thought in my mind.
Hopefully tonight I will sleep like a champ.
My body is still sore, but nothing in comparison to how it was.
Tomorrow I will return to the gym, and continue on with my cardio and weight routine.
I love going and going moves that I have learned from my various classes and putting them together.
I get some weird sort of satisfaction doing that- I can't quite explain it.
Ok, off to bed for me.
I'm exhausted.

This is my daily reminder to always kick my own ass at the gym- to make it the best I can.

Stay classy,

Bamf

Holy Bananas

I'm fucking exhausted.
My arms are so damn sore.
Why is that, you ask?
Oh ya know, it's just due to kettle bells.
I have been working out with kettle bells in the past week, so I thought that I would kind of have a one-up on everyone else.
Nope, Sean pulled it out of nowhere and slapped me upside the head.
Cardio this week was squats.
Lots and lots of squats.
And lunges.
Lunges with weights, and lunges without weights.
Pushups, triceps curls with the kettle bells, lift both kettle bells over your head, squat some more with them...
You get the idea.
And then he kicked our ass with more crunches, and russian twists, and more torture.
Finished us off with laying on the floor, lifting the 25lb kettle bell from our chest, over our head to touch the floor, and then back to our chest.
Hot damn.
My whole upper body hurts, basically.
We'll see if the gym happens tomorrow.
I've noticed that if I go and gently work out the muscles, my body isn't as sore.
Ugh.
This sore sucks, but it doesn't suck.
I don't know what to feel.
I'm going to go and lay in bed, and pray that I can move in the morning.
Stay classy.

In pain,
Bamf

Time

That's what it takes for a body to adjust, and start losing, from a new exercise regimen.
Or at least that's what I hear.
The past week has been full of cardio, weights, cardio, squats, and way better eating.
And what do I get from it?
A .4 lb gain.
So frustrating, but I know that it happens.
Or at least they say that it does.
I've been busting my ass, and not going to tempting foods.
Some treats here and there, but not much of anything.
So I will continue on, and pray that next week I see a loss, because I've been working for one, damnit.
To the gym I go.
I like going in the late morning/afternoon.
There are sooo fewer people, and feel like I can actually get a good workout in.

Oh yeah, I am now a bridesmaid for a wedding next summer.
And I get to be wedding planner for said wedding- woop!
This will be my 8th time being a bridesmaid.
Holy hell, that's ridiculous.
And this isn't even the end.
Yowza.

Stay classy, and I will leave you will a photo of what I woke up to this morning...
Yes, this is April 23rd in Minnesota.
And it's supposed to be 70 by this weekend.
Aca-awkward...

Later,
Bamf

Pain is weakness leaving the body

It's true, for the most part.
Except when you are injured, that's just not fun pain.
The motto, pain is weakness leaving the body, was drilled into people at my high school.
The head coach for varsity football said that all the time.
They had shirts with the phrase on it, it was in the weight room, and I heard it every day in strength and conditioning after school.
In case you were wondering, it's true.
When you are in pain, when you don't think you can lift anymore, when you are ready to give up/faint/cry, you know that you are working your hardest.
On Wednesday night I went to a kettle bells class; it was my first one ever.
My friend Lindsay wanted to do it with me, so we did it.
Holy shit.
The instructor had us go in circuits, warm up, cardio, weights, abs/core, cool down/stretch.
Cardio was jumping jacks, jump rope, touch the floor and jump ups, and who know what else.
Then we had to do planking while climbing with our feet on these disk thingies.
At one point I had to take a time out cause I thought I was going to faint.
Then I picked up, and continued on.
He pushed us his hardest he could, and he did a good job for that being his 5th class of the day.
He told us that 25% of us were pissed at him.
I was part of that 25%.
We were upset because we were working hard.
He said that it would be the hardest it would ever be.
He kept saying that we were changing out bodies, and it would be in extreme ways.
I have a feeling he is telling the truth.
I did my best that night, and I'm pretty proud of myself considering I did cardio in the morning at the Y, and then tap danced for 45 minutes in the hour prior to the class.
By the end of the class I was dripping in sweat, sweating more than I had in awhile.
I was so sore on my way home, but it was so worth it.
The next day at work was tough, but I felt accomplished.
I was going to go to the gym after work, but it was blizzarding so bad that I just wanted to make it home and stay there.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.... eww.

We got upwards of 7 or 8" of fresh snow yesterday and through the night, so it was kind of horrible weather.
Today was better, but now the snow is really blowing with the wind.

Snow was blown into the openings of the stoplights- makes it difficult to see if you can go!

I made it to the Y, and did 5 minutes of warm up on the elliptical, did 20 minutes of weights, and then did 35 minutes on this elliptical type thing.
It's a cross between a stair stepper, glider, and elliptical.
Its interesting, but I like it.
I finished with russian twists while holding a medicine ball, crunches, and lame attempt at push ups.
I looked horrible after, but it was worth it.

Originally I intended to go earlier this morning, but I was so wrapped up in the manhunt for the Chechen psycho who they believe bombed the Boston Marathon.
One of the men was killed this morning, and the other is on the loose.
The city is basically shut down until they find him.
So scary.
And the town of West, Texas was devastated by a fertilizer plan exploding Thursday night when it caught fire.
Dozens of people were killed, and the 5 or 6 blocks surrounding the fertilizer plan was flattened.
What a horrendous week for the country.
I'm so thankful that I have never been in any situations such as those.
I hope nothing happens like that in my small hometown.
We must continue on with our lives, but remember those who have fallen as a result of the tragedies.

I'm hoping to get in a workout in the wee hours of the morning before my BFF's bridal shower.
Which reminds me that I need to go buy a gift for her, yowza.
I'm slacking in most things these days... Oh well!
Stay safe out there!

Praying for Spring,
Bamf

Tap dancing kettlebells

No, I don't do kettlebells while tap dancing.
That would be dangerous.
Super fun and entertaining, but very dangerous.
Tonight I have my normal tap dance class, and then I go to kettlebells!
I'm nervous, but excited.
I'm totally up for doing something new, I'm just afraid I won't be able to keep up.
Partly because I'm so incredibly not in shape, but also because I'm a klutz.
I'm always afraid of breaking something- it's just how my life goes.
The good news is that my friend Lindsay is taking the class with me, so that will be fun.

I had my fitness consultation at the YMCA today, and I really liked the girl who is also a personal trainer.
She asked about my goals, past injuries, habits, and nearly everything else.
She gave me a few tips, and then asked if I was interested in personal training.
I have 75 YBucks that I can use, so I think I'll put them towards three 1 hour sessions with her.
Hopefully I can make it happen with my schedule, especially in the next month, so we'll see.
I'll have to shell out $64, but I think I can make that happen.
My health is a huge part of my life, duh, so whatever works to get it better (within reason, of course).
Did you know that they charge up to $999 for twenty 1 hour sessions with a personal trainer?
Holy. Shit.
I wish I had that kind of money... but alas, I don't.
Even twenty 30 minute sessions are $540.
Ugh, too bad I'm damn near at the poverty level.
Oh well, I will make due.
So yeah, that's that.
I have a few classes that I want to try and take at the Y, so I think my social life will suffer.
That's OK, I'm not too worried.
I would rather work out anyway.
I'm a strange individual.

Time to go get ready for my busy night.
Cross your fingers that it doesn't snow here tonight/tomorrow.
Snow is lame, especially in the middle of April.
Stay classy.

Overbooked,
Bamf

Soul Searching

Today was just a day for in the books.
Let me begin by saying that my thoughts and prayers are with those who were affected by the bombing at the Boston Marathon.
It is sickening to think that someone would EVER do such a thing.
The world has become so dark and scary, that it really makes you think about the people around you.
I'm also praying for the city of Boston as they pull together after everything that happened today.
Just so horrible...

I had been thinking about promoting at work, but was needing support from management to go for it.
Today I got the harsh feedback that my attitude is seriously holding me back.
I'm just so unhappy with life that it is affecting my work, and my abilities.
I have pretty much zero self esteem, so I am therefore unhappy with pretty much everything, and I basically don't feel like I've got much in my favor.
Most of my friends are married, have kids, their own lives, so I don't want to burden them with anything that is making me unhappy.
More money was the main reason for me to go for the position, but I am seriously wondering if it would be good for me to do it.
I'm not sure if it is in my best interest.
But at the same time, if I decide to not go through with it, I don't want to be deemed a failure.
Don't get me wrong, I absolutely want to change my attitude and be a happier person, but I don't want to do it for that reason.
I don't want me to just go the fake route in order to get this position.
I want to be happy for real.
How I do such a thing I don't know, but I need to figure out something yesterday soon.
I'll keep you updated.

Oh yeah, my car stalled out on the road today.
Eventually it got working again, but let's just say that 10 minutes after the conversation with my supervisor at work, the situation drew me to tears.
And then I proceeded to cry the whole way home, as well as into the next hour.
So I went and got a gym membership.
I'm debating giving up my monthly massages, but I'm thinking that would be silly.
So I will give up shopping.
Here's to working for health, happiness, and self-esteem.

praying,
Bamf

Habit

I am a creature of one.
When I get into the habit of something, I must do it, otherwise my day very well might crumble.
In the morning, I must do my normal routine before working, INCLUDING breakfast.
If I can't get my breakfast in, I'm done for.
I will be so off of my game, and I will hate the world.
Sad but true.
In the evening, I must prep my lunch for work the next day otherwise I will not have time to make it in the morning.
I am learning that I must do the same thing with my morning smoothie.
If I don't prep them, I won't have time for them.
Why is that, you might ask?
Oh because I like to hit the snooze button until the last possible second.
Often times I hit it so much that I can't shower before work.
Kinda gross, I know, but that's how I roll.
I value sleep over most everything, even eating.
Truth.
I need to get to a morning routine of waking up at the same time, but it's so hard to not sleep in on my days off, especially since I work every other weekend.
Working retail doesn't give me a routine.
It actually doesn't give me one at all.
My days off change with the wind, as do the hours that I work.
I'm not a fan.
Not having a routine makes me crumble, and I have been feeling it hardcore lately.
It stresses me out.
A lot.
Stress is not good for me.
I need to work harder on not stressing out, mainly at work.
Between no routine, and the horrible slashing of our hours, work is becoming unbearable.
We are basically down a decorator, the hours distribution is horrendous, and the corporation doesn't really give a crap about us.
They tell us to do our best, but that isn't really an option.
If we just do our best, cake orders won't get done.
If cake orders don't get done, then we will catch hell from the guests.
If we catch hell from the guests, we will then catch hell from management, and then a viscous cycle ensues.
So we have no option but to skip every break besides the required ones, and bust our asses to stay afloat.
This isn't what I want to do with my life, not in the least.
I don't want to be stressed out and unhappy, but I'm not sure what else to do.
I want to own my own cake business, I really do.
But right now I can't afford to start one, so I will remain with a job that ensures me a paycheck and benefits.
If I default on my loan, then I really won't be able to start my business, and yadda yadda yadda; you know how it goes.
If work wasn't stressing me out enough, my BFFs wedding is doing it also.
I don't know how to kindly bug someone to get their shit in a pile.
I'll have to work on that this week.
Just another thing added to my growing list...

Ok, bedtime since I have to work tomorrow.
Here's to hoping that tomorrow is a helluva lot better than yesterday and today...
No promises.

Keeping it real,
Bamf

Barbies and Chicken Poops

Oh how my Friday nights have changed...
5 years ago I would spend Friday nights either working, or at the bar or a house party with friends.
Back then I would easily drink, and then go to work the next morning.
Hangovers went away, and we were just living it up.
Damn, life was easy then.
I have a grown a lot since then, and Friday nights are no longer spent doing those types of shenanigans.

Let's take a run down of tonight, shall we?
It began with me staying an hour late at work due to the miraculous find of 3 cake orders due to be picked up TONIGHT.
Yeah, my coworkers didn't look very closely when doing orders yesterday.
Before heading home I stop at Starbucks for a hazelnut macchaito (yum), because I knew that two munchkins would be waiting at home for me.
I get home, and once I walk through the door I find my nephew playing the Wii, and my nice surrounded by Barbies on the floor where she promptly tells me that my girl (Barbie) is ready to be played with.
So I change out of my work clothes, check on some stuff and it's dinner time.
I attempted to quick check email/read some blog posts after dinner, but my niece refused to leave my side until I was ready to play with her.
Yep, H won.
Barbies were played with, My Little Ponies were taken out, and a train was chugging around.

Sea of pink...

We quickly got bored with all the pink stuff, so we pulled out the Matchbox Cars and played with those.

I got bored of those, so I took out the Lincoln Logs (my favorite).

I then quickly built a log house (with a garage), and a chicken coop, and a pen filled with sheep.

My awesome house, complete with pine tree on the outside

My chicken coop- we run an organic farm.

H was confused with what I built, so I kept repeating that it was a chicken coop.

What did she think I said?

Chicken poop.

I started laughing hysterically, and she sat confused.

I said chicken coop a few more time, explained it, and then she got it.

And was very defensive that I found it so funny.

I'm such a nice auntie.

Then I made a pen filled with Lincoln log sheeps.

We watched 'Rise of the Guardians' while drinking root beer floats, and then finished off the night with some Disney channel.

Heavenly Friday night.

Of course they're not tired AT ALL.

I'm exhausted so I'm leaving them with my mom since I have to work in the morning.

Ha.

Ok, time for bed.

One last photo for my hair, I got some highlights in it.

Not quite sure how I feel about it yet, so we'll see.

Happy weekend,

Bamf

*I still haven't heard from the stupid boy. WTF was I thinking? Ugh.

Randomness

Life, especially mine, is just so random and frustrating.
Wednesday at work my coworker tells me she dreamt I got proposed to at work.
Uhh, random.
I had an awkward dinner with my BFFL (best friend for life), our preggo friend, and preggos mom.
Her mom talked of off the wall topics all night, and 99% of the time I had no idea how we got onto the topic.
So weird.
Found out someone heard that my BFFL is going through the in vitro fertilization process, and has already told people bout it.
We don't know who, but we have suspicions.
If it is who we are thinking it is, half of the world probably knows by now.
I'm upset that someone would disrespect another person like that.
I'm really upset that they disrespected my BFFL like that.
I'm bout ready to bust a cap on someone's ass...
Two days later I heard back from the stupid boy.
So. Damn. Frustrating.
Ugh.
It'll probably be next week when I hear from him again.
I have to work this weekend, so that's stupid.
It's still snowing.
I bought a spring/summer purse today, o that's exciting.
I'm gonna be broke by the end of next month because of the weddings, so that's stupid as well.
I came to the conclusion that I'm going to be alone forever.
And I'll probably be too broke to have dogs, so I can't even be the crazy dog lady.
Lame.
I'm going to go throw a pity party for myself, so you stay classy.

Party on Garth.
Party on Wayne.

-Bamf
And it's April 11th, so that's stupid too.

I can't turn you loose

Tap dancing is one of my stress relievers.
It's 45 minutes one night a week where I can have fun with new friends, and just dance.
Before this fall I had never tap danced in my life.
Never.
It's been a tough couple months, but I'm at a non-competitive dance studio so it's all for fun.
We get a workout in (tap dancing is a workout, fo reals), and I get to learn something new.
I love it.
Our recital is in a little over 4 weeks, which is very scary.
I have a LOT of practicing to do!
It'll be good because we're serious about what we do, but we're not ridiculous.
I'm debating taking jazz/ballet in the fall, along with tap, but I'm not sure if I can remember all the dances.
Hell, I'm always up for a challenge, so I'm sure I'll do it.
This is the song I'm dancing to.
It's called, I can't turn you loose.
Hence the title of my post.
Yep, awesome.

I still haven't heard from the damn annoying boy.
SO. FUCKING. FRUSTRATING.
Life was going great until he contacted me.
Screw being not being rude and being an adult.
I don't need it.
I dont' know what to do now.
Eff it all.
I'm going to bed.

Hating stupid boys,
Bamf

Waiting

I'm still waiting to decide if I want to accept the friendship, aka not be rude.
Not so much his fault, but mostly me being dramatic and protecting myself.
Looking out for myself if not bad, but I really do need to be an adult.
Maybe he's with someone now, who knows.
Then my problems would be solved.
Kind of.
Not really.
This is just my sad and pathetic attempt to try and justify anything.
...
I just don't know.
I need to decide by the end of the day, otherwise it will keep increasing my anxiety.
My anxiety is at an all-time high.
I don't work well when my anxiety is high.
I become a huge bitch when my anxiety is high.
It's the truth.

Today is my day off, so I will continue to look at Cake Wrecks, wander around blogs, and sit her in waiting.
Yeah, I lost a couple pounds this past week. Woot!
I also hit my 100th blog post yesterday- crazy!
Ok, I'm off to do my anti-snow dance.
They're predicting 5-8 inches.

It's just cruel.
I hope they're lying.
Stay Cool.

Waiting,
Bamf

I don't have a title...

Because nothing is going according to plan.
Well, other things are, but getting rid of the root cause of my frustrations in da boys category isn't.
So ya know that friendship that I determined as sunk?
Yeah, he came out of left field and requested my friendship/messaged me on Facebook.
Umm, what?
That is not supposed to have happened.
I can't handle this.
I'm trying to get a handle on my every day life, and try NOT to worry about that stressful friendships category.
Right now I need to worry about work, my BFFs wedding, my dance recital, my other activities, and running a 5k.
Another words, I need to, worry about me.
I cant afford to focus on things that will leave me broken hearted.. Again.
I said I wouldn't contact him if he contacted me, but I'm not the type of person that won't.
It's rude, and most of the time I don't like being rude.
Most of the time.
So now I'm stuck in the same fucking limbo that I was 5 months ago or so.
WTF.
It's isn't part of my plan.
Now I need to try and sleep tonight.
Yay me.
Not.
Hopefully I can think in a level headed manner tomorrow...
We'll see.

Confused,
Bamf

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5k

I'm addicted to them, again.
Back in 2010 I was ridiculously obsessed with doing as many as I could.
I would run before work, bettering my time, and just overall enjoying the rush that I felt when I was able to finally run a mile without stopping.
I was in the best shape that I had been in a long time.
It felt as if everything was falling into place.
Then I got a new position which completely changed which hours I worked.
No longer could I go running in the morning before work.
It threw off my schedule, and then fall faded into winter and all hope was lost.
I attempted to join a 24 hour gym near home, but I despise treadmills with every fiber of my being.
Until last weekend I had only done a few 5ks between then and now, but I never really committed to getting back to where I was.
About a month ago I signed up for a 2 mile run near home.
I began doing the 2 mile loop near my house, in an attempt to get my endurance up.
A few weeks ago I decided to do a last minute sign up for a race on Easter morning.
I had done that course before, so I thought it would be a good test for this weekend.
A week ago I did the 5k, and did it with better time than I thought I would get.
The course was tough (ice and cold), but I prevailed.
Once I crossed the finish line I got bit by the 5k bug.
Yesterday I had the two mile race.
The local running group put together a 2 mile and 8k race through one of the county parks.
I forgot how hilly the course was, and between the cold, drops of rain and wind, I was up against quite a challenge.
The course had no marking on it, so I didn't know how far I had gone in the time that I had been at it.
It was a tough race.
Eventually I got to the end, and sprinted as fast as I could.
I felt like I had gotten kicked dozens of times by the end.
I had bettered my mile time by at least a minute between last weekend and then weekend.
It was awesome.
So awesome that I signed up for another 5k in a few weekends.
It is the last available weekend that I will have until the end of May.
Wedding and dance recital craziness will make for a super busy next few months, so I will just keep doing my 2 mile loop in an effort to be able to actually run a mile again.
I'm excited.

I'm cutting out soda, again.
I am keeping my coffee though, just not going to get as much from Starbucks.
I'm going to attempt to only allow myself to spend $20/month there.
We'll see how that goes...
In an effort to get the carbonation I crave, I'm going to attempt to learn to love Perrier mineral water.

I'm told it's the best substitute around.
I'm eating more vegetables and fruits.
Eating less sweets that my mother makes (I try and convince her NOT to make them).
Tracking my food, and keeping myself as active as possible.
When I have downtime I tend to eat more food, so I'm cutting that out.
Beginning next week I will fill my time with jazzercise, tap dance, kettlebells, and working on my 2 mile loop.

Aqua jogging will be throw in there too...

Oh yeah, I lost my iPod shuffle, again.
No idea where it went.
Eff.
I love it for races because it's small and I can clip it on my shirt.
Looks like I'll be investing in another one.... this time a brightly colored one!

I'm rounding out the weekend with some cleaning, organizing, and watching the Hannah Montana movie.
Yes, sometimes I really do think I'm 7.
It's cool, I'm OK with that.
Happy Sunday, and Brenna Burrito hopes you have a wonderful day!

She was just shopping :)

Stay cool,

Bamf

(Not so subtle) Reminders

I'm pretty sure my life is full of them.
Almost every day I'm (not so subtley) that most of my friends are married, and I am not.
I meet up with friends and most of them end up talking about their fiancés/spouses a good part of the time, simply out of habit and having common subjects to talk about.
I go out with friends, in groups, and their spouses all go with.
My mother keeps talking about how most of my friends are married or getting married.
Work talks about it.
Damn facebook and other blogs throw it at me.
It's annoying.
I'm not upset or anything that I'm still single, rather I'm upset that society makes me feel that I'm ridiculously far behind because I don't already have two kids and a house and a perfect life.
I'm fine with my relationship right now.
I'm still finding myself, and I'm trying to figure out where I'm supposed to go with my life.
Right now I can't decide if I'm going to be decorating cakes at a corporate retail store for the rest of my life, or if I'm going to become a HR manager of some sort, or if I will own my own business decorating cakes.
I have a dream, and right now the great debate is whether or not it is realistically within my reach, or if it will forever remain a dream.
My theory in life is this: I don't believe that I will find someone to be happy with in life until I am happy with where I am at in my life.
I'm not going to lie, I have seen several of my friends get married and separated/divorced within a year of marriage.
That fact alone is scary, mainly because I don't want to pay for a wedding if it's doomed.
I have also seen some people bounce between boyfriends and spouses and back again, and that is just upsetting and confusing.
I don't want to be on the receiving end of something like that either.
Relationships take work, I get it.
Some of the 'work' I would like to avoid.
Call me crazy, but that's just how I think.
For now I will just continue on my way, paying off my debts, searching for my dream job, and looking for the little nook in life that I am supposed to fir perfectly in.
We'll see how it works out for me...

My brother sent me this- he found it on the Chive. Hilarious site, check it out!

In other news, I get a massage tomorrow.
Halle-fucking-lujah.
This past week has been horrible.
Work is ridiculous, per usual.
I did a race this past sunday (Easter morning), and I'm doing another one on Saturday morning.
I'm excited.
Everything has just been exhausting, and I'm so over it.
Tomorrow morning I should try and run before my massage, but I think I'll wait until after.
Sleep is a good thing.
A very good thing.

Check out this song from Emeli Sande.
It's wonderfully amazing.
I'm so glad I listen to Cities97 so I can discover amazing artists such as her.
<3

I signed up for another exercise class, this one will be with my friend Lindsay.
We're going to do a Kettle Bells class and I'm so excited.
I will keep doing yoga, tap dance, and jazzercising.
I'm also contemplating doing a water jogging class one morning a week, but we shall see.
My schedule is getting really full.
I like to be busy, but this may be the maximum that I can do.
We'll see...
I'm exhausted, crabby, and ready for bed.

Keeping it real,
Bamf